Creating Events Filled with Love Since 2001
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Creating Events Filled with Love Since 2001 |
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My Messy Bedroom Blaired Vision by Josey Vogels I was initially drawn to it because it seemed so absurd. A woman starting a website devoted to finding her husband by December of this year, just six months from the day she first posted it. (It even includes a countdown, to the second, until her engagement.) All kinds of things popped into my head when my assistant sent me the URL with the subject line: "amusing." Foremost, when I found out that Blaire Allison (the husband-seeker behind marryblaire.com) signs her emails "The Bride Blaire" and opens her voicemail message with a cheery: "This is Blaire, the soon-to-be bride ..." I figured the gal was a total flake. Then I spoke to her at her home in New Jersey. She is surprising down-to-earth and refreshingly honest. Blaire's a smart, pretty, professional 27-year-old who simply wants to get hitched. "I was tired of hiding or being ashamed by the fact that I want to get married," Blaire tells me. "Women are always told we'll scare guys off with the M-word, and will date for months or years before even bringing it up. That's not my personality. It's too long for me to wait before bringing it up." Now, I'm not one who's ever been overly concerned with the M-word when it comes to men, unless it stands for "moderately mature" and not "mama's boy." I remained suspicious. A woman so driven to get married is wrong. It goes against everything feminism taught us: Marriage is an archaic institution that is quaint and romantic at best, at worst, oppressive, conservative and uncool to admit wanting to do among progressive circles. (Unless you're gay, of course.) "It's not desperate saying you want to get married," says Blaire, quite convincingly. "We have such a fear of [people thinking that] but what's wrong with wanting it." It helps if, as Blaire did, you grew up in an extended family that experienced virtually no divorce. Which doesn't explain my cynicism, but I can't help wonder if it's also a generational thing. Blaire is an ambitious young woman with a solid career as an event planner and, get this, a "love coach." As such, she's always reexamining her success, or lack thereof, in finding Mr. Blaire. While she acknowledges that women are thankfully moving away from the old model of "good little wifey," and that, yes, it's possible to be happy and single, Blaire also believes it's okay to admit you want to be with someone -- a concept an entire generation of women before her fought hard against. For Blaire, it's not about needing to get married, but about feeling ready. "I like my life a lot," she says. "Marriage will add a different level of companionship, of sharing and building a life with someone." And she's not about to marry just any schmoe: "an expert in his field;" "a winner who strives to succeed;" "powerful, honest, witty, and cool, a good-hearted family man" are among her criteria. "I want us to be a power couple -- that's really sexy," she says. It's like Leave It to Beaver meets The Apprentice or something. Still, I admire her chutzpah. (Oh yeah, the right candidate has to be Jewish as well.) And I'm not the only one. Blaire has received thousands of emails, most of which applaud her proactive attitude. Visitors can vote on her dating prospects based on pictures and profiles. Blaire chronicles the whole experience online and tosses back the guys who don't become her husbands, offering them up on the site for other women to date. She admits she's been taken aback by the site's popularity, having started marryblaire.com as something to show family and friends for a laugh (and perhaps so they'd send a new guy or two her way). Before she knew it, she was getting thousands of hits, along with calls from media around the world. "If I knew so many people would be looking at my site and judging me I would have been too scared to put it up." But she's glad she did. Blaire feels the whole experience has been a gift in disguise. She's gone on eight dates with seven different guys and learned a number of useful things about herself in the process. One: she hates double dating. "I'm practicing how to say, 'Nice meeting you, best of luck' and limiting first dates to 45 minutes," she laughs. Two, when a guy asks, due to the rain, whether it's okay to forgo "date clothes" in favour of something casual, you can pretty much bet the date will be a dud. And three, while she wants a guy to dote on her and send her romantic emails and messages, she'd prefer it after they've at least had a first date. Mostly, she's learned to be honest with herself and that that helps others be honest with you. "It's a cop-out thinking that men and women approach dating differently," she says. "I think the media gives us that impression and guys buy into it. If you believe there are guys looking for commitment, they are out there. I believe it, I'm saying it and meeting them. Guys who have been attracted to my site have been marriage-minded. They might not tell the whole world, but some guys will admit that's what they are looking for too." What if she isn't engaged by December? Her positivity and faith in the universe is unwavering. "I don't even think of the deadline," she insists. "If you think a project is going to fail, why bother doing it? It might not happen directly through my site, but maybe it'll be a reporter interviewing me or a producer or a friend of a producer. I'm bringing people into my life and I'm no longer fighting myself. If I can keep up this honesty with people I date, the right guy will come to me." And, after years of tiptoeing around the subject of marriage with men, Blaire describes the whole marryblaire.com experience as her "coming out" party. Who knows, maybe she'll end up having a gay wedding. |
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