Did I Do Something Wrong?
by Blaire Allison, The
Have you ever wondered "Did I do something wrong?" when a guy doesn't
call you or distances himself from you?
You rack your brain... "What was it?"
... "How can I fix this?"
... "Was it that I said ...this?"
.... "Or maybe it was cause I did ...that (or didn't do it)"
You go to that dark space in your brain that goes around in circles and begs
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Have you been there?
Maybe you're going through it right now?!
All this thinking and analyzing and OVER analyzing can drive you crazy and
get you absolutely nowhere.
So the next time a guy does something to distance himself and your mind
is tempted to think..."Did I do something wrong?"
re-read and remind yourself of the following....
1) When a man does NOT call you, when he says he will... it's
a reflection on him, NOT you. What this means is that
something is going
on in his life... maybe he's dating someone else...maybe he's not really
in the mood for a relationship... maybe he's just not interested...
or maybe he's just forgetful...
No matter what it is, it doesn't matter as there is nothing you could or should
do about it.... so just let it be.
2) When a man needs a night to himself and distances himself....again,
a reflection on him, NOT you. This is not something to spend time turning the
blame on yourself. It's not time to get upset or feel that you messed up
Instead, just let it be. This is a reflection of him. Again...maybe he's not
ready for a relationship... maybe he's attached to his guy friends and likes
having his guy's nights out still... maybe he has fears or worries about being
intimate... maybe he's just not ready.
No matter what it is... this isn't a time to waste your time wondering "What is
he thinking" and worrying "Does he not like me?" or "Did I do something wrong"
It's a time to carry on with your life, as it has been... and let what happen,
It's so easy to get carried away in a relationship.
It's so easy to get swept away in the initial stages of dating.
The truth is, when you are first dating someone.. you are JUST starting
to know them.
You are getting to know their good sides and their bad sides - and you are
along the way if you like this about them...and if you want to continue to
hang with them.
This isn't all about the guy choosing YOU, it's about YOU having the choice
whether or not you want to hang with this guy.
Remember, you're in control of this situation too... and when you
go into analyzing mode it's cause you think you're the victim, that you're
the one being dumped, or rejected... and this isn't true.
When you try to think everything through, and keep on analyzing what
happened (or didn't happen between the two of you), it's your way of
trying to control the situation. To try to get him to like you again.
It's the way you are trying to protect yourself, so you don't get hurt
All this work..work...work.. you're making it so hard for yourself.
When you let a guy act as he wants to and when you let him be himself, then
you can decide if he's the right guy for you ...or not.
When you view your dating life, as an observer and you view the events with
no emotion attached... you can decide if you want to continue thinking about,
dating, and pursuing this guy
When you let things be as they are, without trying to control them,
it's more enjoyable and a more natural way of dating.
(I call it Blaire's Method of Flow Dating) - cute name, huh?!
Whether you analyze the situation or not... freak out and worry or not...
If you're meant to be with the guy, it'll just happen -
I know that's hard to understand if you've never experienced it, so just keep
the two points above (#1 & #2) near you, when you are having a "weak"
moment and let things sink in.
Keep reading these newsletter and the tips I put out and you'll understand
this mindset more.
Finding love is all about a paradigm shift.
It's not that you're DOING something wrong...it's that you are LOOKING at it
After all, your thoughts preceed your actions.
If you'd like to get started LOOKING at dating and relationships differently
right now, and you're ready for YOUR dating paradigm shift,
you'll find love here:
Wishing you the best in love,
The Love Guru
© 2008 Blaire Allison, LLC and LoveGuru.net and
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Blaire Allison, The Love
Guru teaches single women an easier way to draw "the One" to them- No Settling
Necessary. She is known Nationally and Internationally and has been featured in
over 90+ press publications all over the world (CNN, MSNBC, Inside Edition,
Glamour Magazine, NY Times, Montel Williams Show to name a few). For F*R*E*E
tips and articles with a step by step formula on how to find love visit
www.loveguru.net (for women) and www.datingtipsfordudes.com (for men)