"If You're Looking For Your Husband, Then You Wait To Get Physical"
by Blaire Allison, the Love Guru
Copyright 2004
Dating To Find a Husband: Rule # 1
Ask yourself: Am I dating to have fun or am I dating to find a husband? If you
said the latter, keep reading.
When you date to find a husband you act differently. You 1) go into the date
with a goal 2) have fun, but are always aware of what the man is saying and what
he is doing (and watching if the two are consistent) and 3) focusing on forming
a bond, rather than being sexual.
In this first article, we’ll cover Rule # 1 of Dating To Find a Husband: Wait to
get physical.
1. Your personality “hooks” the guy – NOT your body!
I know you’ve heard this many times, but it’s true. The reason to wait is to see
if he is a good match for you. We all know that figuring out chemistry only
takes a few seconds, but getting to know someone’s personality - figuring out
who he really is takes a little bit longer. If you’re looking to start a serious
relationship, you want it to be based, first and foremost, on love—not just sex.
Who you are as a person is enough to get him and keep him interested!
2. Smart women don’t become vulnerable before it’s time.
Worry, anxiety, and insecurity are all results of hooking up with a man too
early in the game. When you just meet a man – no matter how much you bond with
him on the date and no matter how often you talk to him or see him – you have to
remember that he is still basically a stranger. When you are in the first few
months of dating you need to focus on what this man is all about and if he’d be
a good match for you. Most women are sensitive about having their feelings hurt.
If you’re aware of this from the start, you can be smart about your actions and
protect yourself. If you know you get vulnerable after you have become physical
with a man - then wait. Make sure he’s a good person and wouldn’t do anything to
intentionally hurt you. It takes time to build trust - don’t put your
feelings at the mercy of someone who you really don’t know all that well.
3. Getting physical puts us on Cloud 9
Touch is magic—it feels so good that it clouds our vision. We tend to fool,
ourselves into thinking that if the touch is right, he can do no wrong. You are
a smart woman, and don’t let yourself be fooled. In reality, when we only know a
man for a few months we still really don’t know whether he is really good for
us. This takes time. The moment you hook up with a man, you give away your
ability to see him for who he is truly is. Better to wait, get to know him,
decide that you really do like the person he is – and then hook up. When you
really know a man, sex is far more powerful. When this happens a real
relationship with lasting potential occurs.
4. He’s not the prize, you are!
Being a lady, you are the prize. You are the princess and he’s trying out for
the part of being your prince. For whatever reason, our society tends to teach
us the opposite. We are strong, we are beautiful, we are caring, and sensitive
and amazing – we have all the power in the world and men want and need
us in their lives. We are the prize. We are the goal to be reached. Believe it,
it’s true.
Ladies, if you are truly dating to find a husband then it pays to follow this
rule. If you see yourself following the same losing patterns over and over, it
just makes sense to try a more positive approach. There’s an old wisdom that
tells us, only a fool does the same thing over and over and expects a different
result. So try waiting, it won’t be easy, but it’s worth it – and it may be the
one thing that will get you what you want: a lasting, loving relationship that’s
built on all the right reasons!
Wishing you the best in love,
Blaire Allison
The Love Guru